Living like a Kardashian is very expensive, (and emotionally taxing). I’m here to tell you that money does make life easier but excess will make you miserable and a slave to your gloom. I dare you to disagree with me.
As women, we are bombarded with expensive products and services through advertisements, peer pressure, and low self-esteem. When emotional turbulence creeps into our lives, temptations trap us.
We look in the mirror and hate our reflection. We splurge on Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Cream, and $400 later, we are still stuck with the same rough skin, but ironically, we are feeling much happier for no particular reason the next day, and we realize how stupid and unjustifiable that purchase truly was. It’s a quick-fix.
We drop $1000 on shoes and new work dresses because we feel frumpy and matronly next to the lithe and polished Bostonian girl who sits in the corner office and sips whole fat lattes all day. Months later, our shiny new wardrobe feels inadequate and gets pushed to the back of the closet, labeled, “Farmer John’s Wife’s outfits,” only to collect lint and negative feelings. It’s a quick-fix.
We chop off our beautiful locks after some jerk dumps us. Free us from this torturous shell we strive so hard to mold into female perfection! Yesterday we wanted to be a conservative Stepford wife, and today, we want to be a rebellious flapper. And tomorrow, who knows what will be in store. It’s a quick-fix.
So you want to be happier in your own skin, make wiser financial decisions and still enjoy an envious lifestyle? You can be both frugal and indulgent. It’s possible. But you have to separate the wheat from the chaff and step outside your emotional boundaries. Finally, divorce quick-fix habits.
Get a freaking grip and you’ll wake up happier tomorrow, (and richer).
Manage your emotions. Managing your emotions is the building-block to achieving positivity and financial happiness. Priority number 1. You might manage your subordinates at the workplace and your family members at home, but if your emotions are not intact and consistent, life is going to be very rocky. You can easily achieve this by carving out time for you. It’s not an option. Make yoga or some form of exercise a priority. It’s just as important as brushing your teeth twice daily. Giving yourself space will allow you to reflect on what’s important and will allow you to make more rational decisions in the long-term. If all else fails, try Tulsi-holy basil.
Spend less, save more. Getting barraged with endless beauty products, expensive fad exercise classes, and trendy clothing, among other services with false promises and illusions, tends to make us unfocused and, consequently, waste money on a product or service that we use only once or twice. Think about your need. In order to solve that need, “I need to do x, y, & z.” If you need a great facial moisturizer but get distracted by the coconut vanilla microdermabrasion scrub, remember the problem and solve the task at hand. If you whisk into Nordstrom’s with the intention of purchasing high quality pumps for your day job, but there’s an awesome anniversary sale on leather boots, exert discipline by focusing on what you need and you will thereby create new habits by sticking to your guns. (I’m talking about your pumps!) Only buy what you need. The caveat? We are human after all! You deserve to indulge every once in a while. Treat yourself to a new dress or microdermabrasion session every third pay cycle. Why every third? Because humans like to do things in 3s!
Eating out and shopping at Whole Foods. I cannot stress this one enough. If you eat out frequently, 3 or more times per week, you will empty your bank account. Same with shopping at Whole Foods. There’s a reason why people joke, “Whole Foods, whole paycheck.” I know you are social and fabulous, but it’s important to learn to cook. Domesticate yourself and impress your new date, husband, and mom in the making. Not only will cooking teach you a new skill but it will also transform your fabulous body into a wonderful and gorgeous person on the inside and outside, so whatever clothes you wear, you’ll look and feel great in, and others will notice your light shining from within. You’ll also grow into your own style and become the healthiest version of yourself. My recommendation? Purchase “whole foods” from Trader Joe’s or Shoppers. Get the most bang for your buck and increase your whittling waistline.
Location versus space. You need to sacrifice one for the other, unless you live in Kansas City. Be realistic about your expenses and create a personal budget in excel. Decide on how much rent you can afford per month and then lower that number by 10%. Always live slightly below your means. If you want a studio or one bedroom apartment in Tribeca, be willing to live in a dump. You can’t have it all but you don’t have to sacrifice your entire savings, either. Peace of mind is way better than living in debt.
Commit to two passions per season. Stained glass art classes. Pilates classes. Aerial yoga classes. Japanese language lessons. Salsa lessons. Cooking classes. Wine tasting events. What’s the commonality? Money, honey. This applies to traveling, too. If you and your bestie are hiking in the Swiss Alps next year, adjust your income by cutting back to a single hobby and setting aside x amount of money for your trip. It’s a give and take. Life’s all about sacrifices.
Declutter your life. Adopt a simplistic lifestyle. Weed out drama and negativity. Donate the clothes you aren’t wearing to a charity or throw them out. Same applies to trinkets and other junk. Detach your emotions from sentimental garbage. Not just stuff but also thoughts and feelings about people in your former life who treated you poorly. Are they still in your present life? Lock ’em up and throw away the key.
Stop comparing yourself to others. There’s no such thing as having it all. The more money you make, the more money you’ll spend. It’s called the theory of relativity. You wanted bigger boobs? The large busted woman wants a flat stomach and a gap between her thighs. You want a boyfriend or husband? Your bestie, and wife, can’t wait for her hubby to go on that business trip so she can slather on coconut oil and roll around in the sheets without him complaining. She’s also thrilled about eating sushi and drinking Pinot Grigio alone that night. A toast to the single life! You get my point. The grass is always greener on the other side. Focus on what you do have and how you can positively impact the lives of others, beginning with your mother. You do you and be yourself (and save money).
I’m watching Dee in the mirror. Her furrowed brow is in deep concentration as she struggles to comb out the rat’s nest on my head.
“In astrology, your first Saturn Return takes 29.5 years to complete one full orbit around the sun. For me, I was going through a divorce and still battling a drug addiction at your age,” she explains while slurping her kale juice, as I admire her smooth and spotless complexion, skin better than most 25-year-olds.
I tinker with this psychological analysis for just a second. It’s true though. I’ve come to accept where I am in my life, right now, right at this present moment. Does turning 30 mean knocking out the bull shit of excess and people who waste your time or does it mean that you consciously choose, through life experiences up to this present moment, who will sit in your passenger seat and what gets prioritized to the back seats, including your ego, and what stuff you’ll accumulate in the trunk?
impactyourlifeblog 